Arthur, American Ninja Warrior
by slash mania
Summary: "No one in the American Ninja Warrior competition had been able to make it past Stage 4. But, if anyone could, it would definitely be Arthur." Or, The Time that Arthur Decides to Become the Next American Ninja Warrior.


A.N: Seeing as how I've written hardly anything all summer, I decided to write this after watching American Ninja Warrior and saying to myself, "I bet Arthur could do that." It's silly, probably not very factual since I don't have cable, but was still kind of fun to write...and it only took me eight hours. If I find a glaringly horrible mistake, I'm going to try and fix it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Inception. I also do not own American Ninja Warrior. But I'm sure that anybody who watched Arthur's zero-gravity fight scene agrees that it's possible that Arthur might want to be a ninja.

Arthur, American Ninja Warrior

Eames didn't mean to find out. It was an accident; he looked through Arthur's DVR and found the entire series recorded. He spent his time waiting for Arthur to come back from a lengthily and time consuming job binge watching every single episode with a yellow legal pad and pen at hand. He also had a large bowl of popcorn on his lap.

It appeared that Arthur- that wonderful, professional pointman had decided to dream bigger. If Arthur's dreamscapes and mazes were anything to go by, he had thought about it regularly: his mazes were as detailed as ever but they were made up of never ending, entwined _obstacle courses_.

Yes, if Eames was correct, it appeared that Arthur wanted to become the next American Ninja Warrior. But, as things were want to happen, Eames opened his mouth about his findings during the worst possible time.

* * *

It was quite possible that they were going to die a horrible, painful, bloody death.

They didn't even have the comfort of being asleep, dreaming up violent action movie grade gunfights. If they were dreaming, getting shot in the head wasn't so bad. Worst case scenario depending on the chemical's pumping through their veins: they could be dropping into Limbo or waking up to an angry mark plus the armed gentlemen coming to the rescue. The latter being the case, Arthur and Eames had hidden themselves behind a large, not-so-bullet proof wheeled metal filing cabinet. Bullets struck the cabinet, forcing it against the two dream worker's backs.

"Goddamn it," Arthur hissed, quickly shoving a clip into his gun and then reaching around the cabinet and firing off a few shots of his own, not knowing if he managed to hit anything. He was yanked back to the relative safety of the barrier by Eames, who was ready and willing to wrap himself around Arthur as extra protection. So, with his gun held loosely in one hand, Arthur allowed Eames to sort of embrace him. The forger's gun was a foot or so away, empty of bullets and as useful in this gunfight as a rock.

"If we get out of this," Eames began to say, changing his mind and rephrasing himself. " _When_ we get out of this, I think that you should go for it."

Arthur gave Eames a look that begged for specificity while he was pulling a spare gun from his ankle holster and passing it over to Eames.

"I want you to try out for American Ninja Warrior."

Whatever Arthur was going to say in response to this was cut off by the sound of their filing cabinet being shoved away. Now that they were both armed, when the cabinet was out of the way and had revealed their foolish attackers, Arthur promptly shot two of them and pistol whipped the third man while he was still surprised. Arthur then took Eames's free hand and ran with him towards the door.

* * *

That night, after they had made certain that they hadn't been followed, that their identities were safe, that their shared apartment wasn't going to be broken into, they relaxed a little. They took a bath, drank some wine, and crawled into bed together.

Eames thought that Arthur had drifted off to sleep, but really his darling had been thinking.

"Do you really think I can do it, Eames?"

His voice was quiet; some would assume that Arthur was frightened, but that wasn't true. Arthur weighed the pros and the cons- his doubts weren't due to his self confidence but arose after he looked at the facts and figures. This uncharacteristic self doubt made Eames love Arthur all the more. How could he not have faith in the man that had once created gravity? If he could do that, this American Ninja Warrior competition should be a challenge that, if properly trained and prepared for, Arthur could win.

* * *

Arthur had been on the run with Cobb when he had heard about the show. It became something of a silly dream, heavy emphasis on _silly_ , but Arthur thought that he might try it after he got Cobb back to his children safely.

And then the Inception of Robert Fischer took place. On the second level, where Arthur was kicking projection ass, fighting in zero gravity, he had thought that if he were to survive the job and _not_ land in Limbo, he would go for it.

"I kind of treated the idea like a reward," Arthur said as they re-watched a few episodes, taking notes about obstacles and challenges. "Like, if I managed to perform the inception and not die horribly, if I was capable of finally getting Cobb home again, I'd try out and see what I can do."

Eames looked up from legal pad where he had sketched a couple of the obstacles that caught his eye- that Warped Wall, the Paddle Boards, Quintuple Steps, and the Log Roll. He already knew that they could recreate a few of these things so Arthur could practice all he liked.

"I believe in you, Arthur. We just need to train."

Arthur raised an eyebrow at that, but after a moment he smiled, clearly enjoying the fact that Eames had said 'we' instead of 'you'.

The forger smirked and wrapped an arm around Arthur's shoulders, cuddling him a little. "I'm going to be there, you know," Eames said softly. "I'm going to cheer you on and then when you beat everyone, I'm going to kiss you blind on television."

* * *

Ariadne found out and helped them build obstacles. Cobb offered his backyard as a place to set up the obstacles, but made sure that both he and Arthur sat the children down and explained that the new wood and metal structures weren't for them to play on.

Arthur was dedicated. He worked and worked, stopping only to rehydrate and rest. Eames was there to catch him if he fell while working his way up the Salmon Ladder, running the Warped Wall, and doing agility exercises while wearing a weighted vest.

The training didn't stop until Arthur was ready to quit or couldn't fight Eames off when the man threatened to carry him bodily out of Cobb's backyard.

* * *

"Ariadne, this might sound weird and feel free to say no, but could you sort of hop on my back while I do pull-ups?"

She looked up from the model she was working on, one ear bud in place so she could listen to music while she worked. When she finally got the message, she took all of Arthur in.

First assessment, Arthur wasn't wearing a suit today. Odd, but if he was planning on training while working it made perfect sense for him to wear light breathable clothes… He was wearing the equivalent of gym clothes; a faded light-weight shirt and a pair of shorts. His hair wasn't even slicked back! He was waiting patiently for her reply.

Finally, she pulled the ear bud out of her ear and pushed her work aside. "Okay," she said, "we can do this for a little while as long as we talk about the job."

The way Arthur's face lit up was enough.

She did as Arthur asked, hanging by her arms from Arthur's neck and shoulders, her legs twined above his hips and ankles crossed against his flat stomach. It made the conversation surprisingly intimate when she was speaking softly into his ear as he pulled himself up by the bar they'd installed in the doorway, pulling till he reached about chin-height and then lowering himself back down. All while she was clinging to him like a monkey.

It was ironic because she had been building a zoo. "We will help her find something that she thought she lost by going back to a place she felt happy and safe." Arthur lowered himself down and then smoothly pulled back upwards. "Have you put much thought into the animals?"

Ariadne sighed. "Animal projections seem like they'd be hard to control. And if her subconscious turned on us I wouldn't want to get mauled by a tiger or stepped on by an elephant while we look through cages for secrets."

Arthur snorted to himself, continuing to work on his pull-ups, not appearing to be hindered by her added weight. "We build the dreams and the structures within the dreams. Why not the animals too?"

Before she could answer, Eames walked in through the other door, pausing with his arms full of the lunch he was sent to fetch.

He stared as Arthur continued pulling himself up with Ariadne clinging to his body.

"The animals are most often representations of primal emotions experienced by the dreamers." Eames watched Arthur workout some more, head tilted to the side. "Take a break, darling. The only way you could look more masculine is if you stripped off your shirt and went out to chop me some wood."

Arthur stopped, hanging for a moment with a surprised look on his face. "Why didn't I think of that? Ariadne, do you think we can find me some wood to chop?"

"Not with me hanging onto you like this!"

Arthur carefully lowered himself to the ground and let Ariadne slip off his shoulders and land on her feet.

He stretched and grabbed a water bottle. "Right. Later," he said, eyeing the bags Eames held. "After lunch and work."

* * *

What Arthur never mentioned was just how bloody acrobatic he was.

In Cobb's backyard, Arthur scared the crap out of Cobb when he jumped on top of the sturdy wooden picnic table and somersaulted- _backwards_ \- off of it and landed on his feet like a smug cat. The children were excited to see their Uncle Arthur perform like he had been raised in a circus troupe.

He tumbled and cart-wheeled; he sent himself flying end over end without fear. When Eames caught sight of him, he understood what it must have been like for Arthur to fight on the second level considering how he now fought against gravity to perform those tricks without hurting himself.

When Arthur took a break and visited him, rolling his shoulders and smirking, Eames couldn't help but raise his eyebrows and whisper, "I didn't realize I share a bed with a gymnast."

Arthur fondly pressed a kiss against the man's cheek. "I may not be double jointed but I'm still pretty damned flexible."

* * *

The qualifying round came and went. Eames drove Arthur to Venice, CA and waited with him for the chance to take on Stage 1 and be considered as a competitor for the title of American Ninja Warrior. Eames was nervous for Arthur, who didn't seem to be worried even as he watched hopeful ninja warriors fall, face plant, or generally fail.

That didn't mean that Arthur did everything perfectly. He nearly fell off the last Quintuple Step and ended up tumbling onto the platform. He almost dropped when the Hanging Log reached the end of its fall, forcing Arthur to jump or get knocked senseless. But, he proved himself to be fast and capable of thinking on his feet. And when he finally reached the Warped Wall, Arthur smiled to himself before backing up and running up the sharply curving wall and jumping high enough and within enough time to grab the ledge and pull himself up. He hit the button that signaled his completion of the course, smiling down at Eames who was busy jumping up and down and punching the air. Trust Arthur to be the most composed about the victory.

* * *

Mt. Midoriyama was a hellish obstacle. No one in the American Ninja Warrior competition had been able to make it past Stage 4. But, if anyone could, it would definitely be Arthur.

Arthur, who dominated the Venice, CA finals course! Arthur, who was set to become the next American Ninja Warrior! Through his journey, Arthur had developed a small but dedicated fan base that grew with every victory. They fell in love with his determination and his boyish good looks. They loved his smile.

But they also loved Eames, who stood on the sidelines and cheered him on. After he was interviewed by the co-host, Arthur got his very own Twitter hashtag that appeared every time he took on a course. When Eames was asked about Arthur's abilities, drive, and determination, he said what he usually said about Arthur. That Arthur's the best. And that's what the Twitter hashtag said every time Arthur appeared on television. _#Arthur'stheBest_ flashed on the screen whenever Arthur competed.

So, now they were in Las Vegas for the National Finals. Where the recreation of Mt. Midoriyama stood undefeated!

And when Arthur was announced, Eames crossed his fingers and watched in awe.

* * *

Frankly, Eames could have commentated a little better. But he felt that way about most sports commentators.

Watching Arthur run the agility courses, landing gracefully from platforms, testing his upper body strength by climbing ropes, scaling that bloody Double Salmon Ladder!

So, Eames commentated in his head.

 _And, there goes my darling. Running at top speed before jumping on the trampoline to swing from tire to tire. And he makes the jump! Go, Arthur, go!_

The obstacles became worse and worse. The grip strength required for these obstacles was ridiculous! But, Arthur was getting there- he surpassed the Floating Doors and had to face the dreaded Mt. Midoriyama.

It was immense. First, what looked to be a Spider Wall Climb that forced Arthur to move straight upwards using only his arms and legs, with no handholds or ropes in sight. And, watching as he made his way quickly upwards, reaching for the rope just above his head, risking falling all the way down!

But, no! No, Arthur made it! He began climbing upwards, a little slower than before. Slower…now, he paused to catch his breath and looked upwards to see how far he had to go till he reached the top where he would emerge from the hole in the platform and hit the button.

Arthur had told him before that one of his worst nightmares was missing the button. Or, worse yet, having it not register his having pressed it. But the thing that Arthur was most afraid of was falling.

Watching Arthur climb the last few feet was nerve wracking. Till, finally foot after foot, hand over hand, Arthur reached for the opening above him while he forced himself to the very top, smacking at that button two or three times before it finally registered. The cheering, the hosts yelling to the live audience and the people who were watching at home, proclaimed Arthur the winner.

Arthur was the next American Ninja Warrior.

When he finally got back down there were interviews to be had. Everyone wanted to hear about how he felt about his winning the competition, how did he feel after the climb- but when Arthur was reunited with Eames, he turned to the cameras and the co-host and clearly said, "I'm sorry. But, I was promised that when I finished this course, I was going to be kissed blind."

Eames smiled at the cameras before doing just that.


End file.
